I hadn't seen the comment on my previous post until now. It was a reminder that (1) I haven't written in a long time and (2) I miss writing. When I don't write regularly, I find that I don't have a firm grasp of how I think and feel. It's nice to draw boundaries and organize thoughts and come to conclusions, because otherwise you just have this array of stimuli that upon first glance and first exposure don't mean too much. It isn't until I really really take the time to think about things (or sometimes when someone calls me out on something) that I can put two and two together. And maybe this is vague but maybe that's why it is relatable.
"You are a people pleaser," she said. It stung. The words. But maybe because I don't take criticism well. It's funny, because it wasn't such a terrible thing to say about a person anyway. Maybe the words stung more, because the truth stings a little. The funny thing is that I should have come to this conclusion much earlier than this and really I'm sure if I asked anyone else that knows me, they would have told me, "Well, duh." Sometimes it's hard to take a good hard look at yourself when you're just swimming in all of your "You." You can kind of look around and see pieces of yourself here and there, kind of like how you can look down right now and see your fingers flexing and your feet stretching but it's that "You" in all of its entirety that sometimes you need a little help seeing sometimes. Luckily, I don't have to this on my own all of the time with friends around who will provide needed pricks of truth now and then.
